An Important Lesson
A wise man once told me, “Say no when it’s the right thing to say no; and yes when it’s the right thing to say yes.”
(Actually, the wise man was my dad and he texted that to me this week!)
It seems like a very obvious and straight forward piece of advice, yet it’s something Andrew and I have struggled with for years when it comes to over exerting ourselves by packing our schedule full!
Life gets busy! Everyone you talk to nowadays seems like they are running an obstacle course race trying to survive till the finish line only to find that the end is nowhere to be found. Summer especially can be a busy time for families and it’s been no exception for us! Despite the fact that our Tuesday night bible study has taken a summer break, all our evenings have been full and our weeks have been filled to the brim. At night we get home, quickly put our son to bed and drop in bed ourselves. Lately we have been grabbing our clothes from the unfolded clean pile on the couch! (The one I’ll get to “tomorrow”!) At times I look at Andrew and wonder when was our last deep conversation that didn’t involve scheduling, parenting, bills, etc. I think you get the point.
This leads me back to my very brief but impactful exchange with my dad through text. He had graciously offered to come watch Tobias so Andrew and I could get away and do something together! I declined (rather hurriedly, afraid we’d possibly fill our one free evening with the tempting offer) and explained we really needed time together at home without plans. It was after I left that my dad texted me about knowing when to say no or yes and also sent the following,
“…it is a hard lesson to learn. But an important one. Wisdom and courage.”
I must admit that at first I was unsure how a simple yes and no decision can require courage, but I started to see the truth in this statement!
If you are like me, it can be much easier to say “Yes” to an event or social gathering rather than try to explain why I cannot (or should not) carve out the important family time we had planned. Sometimes I say “yes” because I’m afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or even because I may WANT to do it despite needing to get things done at home. It can take a little courage to stick up for our precious time that we try to share and it can take courage to say “no”.
“But how do I know when to say ‘no’?” you may ask? Obviously, this is something I am currently trying to learn as well, but I was reminded of something we recently discussed in a Bible study for young families. Our leaders had us prayerfully consider and choose our family’s priorities and start to apply it to our every day lives! If there is something that is not pressing or can wait another couple days, focus on what IS a priority for the family and their needs! After all, God has set us in charge of our own marriage, family, home and finances. We cannot get so distracted doing good for others that we ignore the things God has placed in our care.
Every time you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” to something else. Which one is more pressing? Which one is a family priority?
On the flip side, sometimes we get lazy and say “no” to things that we don’t FEEL like doing but SHOULD! Taking time to meet with people, host, go to connection group, etc. are all good things that can be very rewarding, important and have a lasting impact on us or others we take time to be with! Sacrificing our time to serve at church, help a family, or volunteer can take a lot of time and energy, but it’s vital if we want to be like Christ! He was far from selfish with His time and energy!
“HOW am I supposed to do both?!” You may be wondering by now. I’ve been there too! I live with this question nearly every day! How do I succeed at taking care of the things that God has called me nurture AND be selfless with my time, energy and money?
First, I’d say this can truly only be done well with God’s help!
And secondly, I’d say WISDOM! (That wise old man knew what he was talking about!) 😉 It takes wisdom to discern what is a priority for each family, during each day and during each week. Then a decision can be made about what should be added to the schedule or not!
Lastly, I’d again agree with my dad and say COURAGE. Once you feel confident in a decision, follow through with it and don’t do so much “squeezing things in” or packing the schedule full! That leaves no room for priorities like time with the Lord, time with family, keeping up a home, and meeting with those that you know God has laid on your heart to see!
It’s an on going struggle and an important lesson we are currently learning and also practicing! My dad’s encouraging advice will be in the back of my mind each time I decide to say “yes” or “no”!
That night
we were able to enjoy time at home with no plans! Grocery shopping and the laundry could wait ONE more day, but it was nice being outside with my son and watching him enjoy his little pick up truck! (At one point he wanted to take me for a ride and insisted I sit in the bed of the truck!)
I hope this post was an encouragement to you and helpful with making those daily decisions! Let me know your thoughts, your scheduling tricks or if this is something that you struggle with as well!
–Jen
